I’m sure we’ve all been there. You’re all settled down into your beach chair, sunblock applied, chair properly positioned for optimal people watching and ray catching. Then out of the corner of your eye, you see him approaching. The perfect stranger, or maybe acquaintance or even single guy friend that clearly needs a female to assist him with things like remembering to apply sunblock before hitting the beach. But nope… she’s not around. So he’s on the hunt for hopefully a female, or if it comes down to it… a male secure enough in his sexuality to rub in several globs of sunblock on his unreachable parts.
This has happened to me one too many times. As much as I wanted to play dead so he’d pass me by and move onto the next schmuck who appears to have a burning desire to apply sunblock all over some dudes sweaty, sandy, newly sunburned werewolf-esque back, I could not escape in time.
So he got me and I only threw up in my mouth twice since I made sure that the entire process lasted under 30 seconds. Not even enough time time to inscribe the word “dork” across his back.
Now thankfully sunblock technology has finally advanced. Someone obviously enjoys giving free beach-side rub downs as little as I do and therefore invented a product perfect for such a situation. It’s the now popular sunblock in a spray can which not only means not having to touch the creepy rub down seeker but it also means he can apply it to himself. Hallelujah! Plus the stuff comes out in an even spray so no funky hand prints either. Another reason I love the Neutrogena Fresh Cooling Body Mist Sunblock (as the name implies) is because it COOLS. Great when you don’t have the means to bring along your own personal water spritzing and ostrich feather fanning cabana boy.
It also goes on with a Matte finish…as opposed to the shellacked version other brands seem to leave me with. So no more glistening in the sun blinding passerby’s as the suns rays are magnified and bounced off my shining torso.
Here’s where you can get your hands on some (so you can then keep your hands off the creepy guy):